December 27, 2004

Ma petite jolie folie, I got to thinking about it, and I said to myself, "Maybe next week I should just go sing for her in Paris. Why not?"

I'm not joking...

I just bought a plane ticket to Paris. It arrives in Paris a week from today. I'll fly home the week after.

I've never done anything like this before, but I just happened to find a plane ticket far cheaper than I've ever seen between Atlanta and Paris. I bought it without thinking, because I knew if I
didn't someone else would. I wanted to call you and make sure it was alright, but I left your number at school.

I hope it's alright.

I love you.

Your carrot.

(Translated from French)

I didn't sleep the night I wrote that email. I don't sleep most nights, but that night I was happy not to sleep. I laid there thinking about what I had just done. Just a year and a half before, I had never left the country, I had never spoken another language, and I had never had a conversation with someone far away. Now, as I lay there, I was waiting to go back to Paris to be with Fanfan, the Taiwanese girl I had met when I studied French in Angers the Spring before.

At four in the morning I went back downstairs to see if Fanfan had gotten the email. There was nothing, so I emailed all of my friends in Europe who had her phone number and asked them to send her a text message telling her to check her email. Normally, I wouldn't have worried about her checking, but she was staying with her family in Angers for Christmas break, before going back to Paris. So, she wouldn't be checking her email as often.

Shivering in my boxers in front of the computer in the dark of morning, I sent emails to all of my friends in Europe who had Fanfan's cell phone number and asked them to call or text Fanfan to tell her I was coming.

I went back upstairs to try to sleep a little. I laid awake until about six-thirty, then jolted awake at eight. I ran downstairs and passed my mom in the kitchen. I had left the printout of my plane ticket on the counter, with a note saying, "I hope you don't mind. Thanks." I had spent all of the money they gave me for my birthday and Christmas on the ticket (not the kind of thing my father likes), along with quite a bit of my own money.

My mom grimaced. I just smiled and sped past her.

"You're crazy you know," she said behind me, in the sarcastic tone she uses when she wants to show that even though she's not happy about what I did, she's not upset either.

"I know," I said sitting down at the computer.

I had told my parents flat out that I would use any money they gave me to back to see Fanfan. I just think they only half expected that I would. They didn't understand how much this meant to...

There was an email from Fanfan. My mom kept talking, but none of what she said sunk in. Fanfan wrote (in French):

No. This isn't happening!

I screamed when I read your letter. I'm truly going crazy right now!

This is the most incredible present that anyone has ever given me.

She then wrote "Thank GOD!" in English.

I'm starting my internship in Paris the day you arrive, but, either way, I'll be there! Paris, and Luna also!

I love you I love you I love you!!! I'm in heaven right now!

I'm going to hold you tight like the ribbon on your present!

Fanfan

I was the present, and I liked the idea of her wrapping herself around me.

My mom walked up behind me. She saw that I was smiling and wanted to see what I was reading.

"She's happy I'm coming," I said to my mom.

"Well, that's good," she said, "It'd be a shame if you bought the ticket, and she didn't want you to come."

Six days later, I packed all of my stuff in the car and drove it all from Charleston to Clemson, where I would be finishing my last semester of college. I didn't even try to sleep that night. I unpacked all of my stuff and packed my bags for Paris. I played guitar for a while. Then I walked around Clemson, which was deserted because school wouldn't start for another week. When I came home, I searched for how to say "I love you" in Chinese.

I sat by myself in the empty apartment, repeating "Woh ay nee. Woh ay nee," trying to get the tone right.

At seven in the morning, I put my backpack and my guitar in the car and left for Atlanta.


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